Faith, Love and Respect for ALL

Posts tagged ‘R-Word’

Autism Proud is Spreading the Word


Today is the day, Spread The Word to End the Word’s Annual Day of Awareness. Although I will correct people throughout the year, this is the one BIG day to take a unified stand to tell the rest of the world that the R-word is NOT okay to use.

Since I was a child I have heard people use that word as a punch line to a joke, or to insinuate that someone they were dealing with was stupid and/or lazy. It is HORRIBLE to use that word, and I simply will not tolerate its use in my home, or in the presence of my family.  If I see people on FaceBook using it in any way, they are removed from my friends list on my personal page, and/or banned from the blog’s fan page.

When I was in seventh grade, the Lord put my feet on a path that would warm my heart and forever change the way I reacted to language. I was blessed to be allowed to help out in the Special Ed classes, because at that time there was no inclusion. I spent my study hall, gym and lunch hours with these amazing individuals. Thoughtlessly, I used to refer to them as “kids” but in truth most were my senior by many years. It was an amazing experience, and it made me a better person, to learn from such wonderful people. It was not always fun, and it certainly wasn’t easy, but then what in life, worth having and/or doing is? I remember once being hit by a desk, because one of the girls was having a “violent outburst” I also remember moving faster the next time it happened. Eventually, there were times I could even help to calm her before she got too upset. We were all learning together, and that is what school, and life,  is all about.

When I moved into high-school, I was thankful to be allowed to continue seeing my friends on a daily basis in all the same activities as junior-high.  My favorite part of the week was taking my one friend with MS out of her wheelchair and working out her muscles in the pool with one of the teachers and her aide. Tracy always had the BEST smile and laugh. When I coached Special Olympics my friend Juan won his race, Spiderman gave him his medal, he screeched with joy, and I cried at his triumph. When Prom time approached, I attended prom with my friends at their co-op’s recreational center. The happiness and fun I experienced with my friends at their prom, was infinitely better than my own prom. It was a different atmosphere and I will forever be grateful for the invitation and all the fun I shared with my friends.

In my adult life I continued to support the Special Needs community, and even volunteer or work in it, when possible. It is a different world that is filled with love, laughter, and friendship that I have yet to see equaled anywhere. The extraordinary individuals that comprise the Special Needs community are truly the most beautiful rainbows that have ever graced the earth.

As a parent I find my family joining this amazing community, with our Autistic daughter blazing the trail ahead of us. All the respect and love I felt for 25 years as a person blessed to have friends in the Special Needs community, cannot come close to the love and pride I feel for Beth, and all her extraordinary friends.

Sadly, being an adult or child who is  different opens these exceptional individuals up to criticism and cruelty from the outside world. When I meet someone who does not understand how hurtful their words are, I explain that they are disrespecting my child and all the other amazing individuals in the world who live with Differing Abilities. Some don’t get it and some don’t care, but when I see the proverbial light go on and someone pauses to consider the ramifications of that word, then I can smile. One Day at a time, One Person at a time, we can change the world, and eliminate the R-Word from the world’s vocabulary. Another way that I choose to attempt to shed light on the disrespect the R-word conveys, is to NOT spend my money on music, videos, movies, books, etc… that use it in a derogatory manner. There have been several movies banned from this house for their use of the R-word, and for making fun of Special Needs individuals. I will not have that kind of Hate Speech in my home. What will you do to Spread the Word to End to Word?

We will not always be able to protect our loved ones from the ugliness that exists in the thoughtless words and/or actions of others, but today we can take a stand. Today we can pledge, or renew our pledge, to Spread the Word to End the Word at

MY pledge:  I will make every effort to educate people when it comes to the damage inflicted by use of the R-Word.  I will fight for acceptance and respect for ALL people regardless of differing abilities. I will teach my children to NEVER use the R-word and to be kind when speaking about and to people.  I will Spread the Word to end the Word, the only way I know how, by Thinking BEFORE I Speak, and by practicing what I preach.


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Autism Proud – Journey With Us – by Jest Tu Positive by Dorothy Stronglove is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

R-Word Ruined It

We went to the movies today and saw Ted, it lived up to its previews and had lots of raunchy, potty humor. I must say that I did laugh quite a bit and actually enjoyed the movie up until the last part. As I was thinking I could not wait to come home and tell my online friends what a great and funny movie we had seen… there it was…Ted used the R-word. 😦 One word ruined the entire movie for me. I expressed my displeasure and unhappiness at hearing the word as soon as it was spoken. I was very glad it was at the end, because I am not sure I could have sat through the movie had it been at the beginning. I have been told that I am overreacting by people who simply do not understand how hurtful words can be. Perhaps this is Hollywood’s stance as well, and they do not want to admit the harm they are causing. I refuse to believe that they do not know, I simply think they do not care. It seems since it has always been used in a slanderous way, it just makes it okay in most people’s eyes. My question is… Why does it have to be demeaning and hurtful to be funny?

I will never understand why Hollywood continues to use such an offensive and hurtful word. Although the movie did not pull any punches and left no religion, ethnicity, stereotype, etc… unscathed, I guess I just expected more due to all the campaigns and awareness that have been occurring over recent years.

I have always detested the R-word, but as I have grown older, and more sensitive to others feelings, I simply HATE it! Now there is this big “negative attention feeds my image” crap going on in Hollywood, where celebrities are trying to make “Autistic” the new R-word. It is sad that people who could make such a positive difference in the lives of many, choose to use their “star power” to hurt and demean wonderful people. It not only saddens me, it sickens me, which is why I refuse to share any of the stories of outrage against their supposed ignorance, they know what they are saying and doing is wrong. It appears that they are only saying it to get attention, and I will not reward abhorrent behavior by spreading their name more. I cannot help but feel that they are simply cruel people who would throw anyone and anything under the bus, including making fun of innocent children, to add a few more dollars to their pockets.

I have been guilty in the past of alluding to developmental delays, disabilities, etc… when dealing with less than desirable interactions with people. Although I can look back now and see how horrible I was, and am thankful that only few heard my words, I am still very ashamed. I have had so many extraordinary individuals, who are part of the Special Needs Community, come in and out of my life, that I know I would not be the person I am today without them. My daughter and Goddaughter are proud members of the Special Needs community, and I support them with all that I am.

I pledge that I will no longer be the hypocrite who provides compassion and understanding, while still laughing at the hurtful, demeaning, ignorant references that are so accepted by society. I pledge that I will be that person, who reminds people that if they cannot use a word around anyone, at anytime, then perhaps they should not use that world at all. Until the rest of the world realizes the negative stereotypes and pain they are creating by demeaning others in the name of comedy, I guess I will have to stick to getting my laughs the good old-fashioned way, through my beautiful children who are not only my best teachers, but also wonderful motivation to be a better person. I pledge to be more mindful of the powerful weapon my tongue is, and to always Think before I Speak.

There is no better way to express how important ending the R-word is than to read the material on Here is a sample from their FaceBook page: “Respectful and inclusive language is essential to the movement for the dignity and humanity of people with intellectual disabilities. However, much of society does not recognize the hurtful, dehumanizing and exclusive effects of the word ‘retard(ed).’ Language affects attitude. Attitudes affect outcomes. Make your pledge to use respectful people first language.



Creative Commons License

Autism Proud – Journey With Us – by Jest Tu Positive by Dorothy Stronglove is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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