As a Stay-At-Home Parent we have many moments of bonding with our children, which our working spouse misses out on. Sometimes these missed experiences bring my husband great sadness, because he wants to be there for everything, as much as I do. Although he does admit that as much as he loves our children and misses them terribly when he is gone, he could never be the Stay-At-Home Parent. He also makes an effort to tell and show me how much he appreciates all I do for our family, and how much it means to him that our children are well cared for by their mommy while he cannot be with them. I am extremely thankful that he struggles to provide for us, so that I am able to stay home with our children and be anything and everything they need. We are truly blessed to be living the dream of family we envisioned for ourselves.
Although I love being a SAHM, sometimes it is also very stressful, lonely and draining. Many days I feel like a jack-of-all-trades, and master of none. It can be very frustrating and allow me the opportunity to beat myself up over things that are truly out of my control or simply not that important. When I became a SAHM I knew it would be the most important “job” of my life, and it would be 24/7, 365 days a year, but I don’t think anyone is ever really prepared for how that truly translates into your entire being (body, mind and soul). There are days that I feel I am Super-Mom and worthy of the praise I receive from family and friends. However, there are also days when I fear that God has entrusted me with something that I am not equipped to handle. On those days being the SAHM is extremely difficult; because those are the days I put too much needless pressure on myself and my husband to do “the right things” and have the “perfect everything.”
When I am very stressed or in a rough place mentally, it is so easy to imagine the grass in greener on the other side. This may be for many reasons, if for no other than to be out of the house and have adult interaction other than therapists, doctors, teachers, etc… There are times I long for the freedom to simply pick up and go without having to examine the sensory-ramifications and plan an escape route if necessary. It is when I am fantasizing about that “easy” life everyone but us has, that I become unbearable and unreasonable, even to myself. It is during these episodes of self-pity, that I tend to forget that my husband is working 40+ hours, going to school another 8+hours, doing homework (at home or in the tutoring center) and still trying to be Super-Dad, in any given week.
After much self-reflection I have come to the conclusion that I simply want a break from my “job” and am extremely jealous of his ability to leave his job and go elsewhere, since I rarely get to leave mine physically and never leave it mentally. This is when I am thankful for my program and the wonderful people in my life that can be honest and kick my butt back into reality. Life is not all good days’ filled sunshine and rainbows; we all have our trials and tribulations, and we all have bad days. The key is to not get stuck in the “woe-is-me” mentality, and to take a step back and truly look at your choices and your life for what they are. Sometimes taking that break is the difference between a mommy-meltdown and a magnificent day!
I made the choice to be a SAHM, and there is no other choice for me. Even on our worst day being a SAHM is the best thing ever for me. I am blessed with a wonderful husband who loves and accepts me, for who I am faults and all; he puts up with my “crazy” when most people would walk, maybe run, away. God entrusted us with two miracles, our extraordinary children, who color our life with love and joy. We have good days, we have bad days, and we have many in-between days. Our life is an Au-Some adventure filled with love, acceptance and progress. We learn as a family and we walk our path together as a unit of strength that cannot be broken. We are Blessed and Thankful for everything in our life, even the difficult times that force us grow in ways we did not think possible.
I am especially thankful for my husband, and all he does for our family. Although I may not always show it, and I may complain too much when my “filter” is broke. In the end I could not imagine this journey without him. We are the perfect team, and together we can accomplish anything, as long as we are together. As our girls grow-up, we know they will navigate life with a strong foundation because we are building it for them one prayer, one mistake, one kiss, one decision, one hug, one giggle, one triumph, etc… at a time. I don’t feel we are any different than other families, in this respect; we simply have a different means to an end to fully maneuver the paths on our journey. I love and appreciate my husband more than he will ever know, and I thank him with all my heart and soul for our extraordinary life.
Autism Proud – Journey With Us – by Jest Tu Positive by Dorothy Stronglove is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.